


The Golden Apples of the Sun

by Smith



Series: The Breath After the Last [5]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 20:04:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5388500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smith/pseuds/Smith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard's birthday rolls around while he and Kaidan are up on the Sunshine Coast, and Kaidan decides to make it memorable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Golden Apples of the Sun

**Author's Note:**

> Written to satisfy a deep primal itch for long red hair, and as a gift to myself for winning NaNoWriMo this year. Thanks to mareel for keeping me company while this fic wrote itself and I clung white-knuckled to the side of it. And everyone who reblogged or liked it on tumblr.
> 
> Set just over two years after the end of the war. I'm gonna have to amend A Welcome Distraction....

As Shepard more or less takes on the work of building them a home by himself, his body begins to change. His thin, wasted muscles begin to fill out, his shoulders broaden, he limps less, and his hair grows long and wild. He doesn't trim his stubble so much anymore, and every time Kaidan comes home, the bun behind his head has grown a little larger, a little messier, his hair a little thicker, a little softer. Until he finds himself climbing out of the sky car one day to Shepard chopping wood in a flannel shirt in the mid-morning sun, long tangles of hair tied behind his head in the hastiest of fashions and falling out around his ears.

Watching is such a pleasure, Kaidan forgets the eggs and bread he rushed into town to get for breakfast, and leans against the car to enjoy the view.

Finally, Shepard takes a break to wipe the sweat from his brow, and chug back half a bottle of water he had standing nearby. A few droplets drip down his chin and over his bobbing Adam's apple.

"Commander Shepard, is it?" Kaidan asks as he approaches.

Shepard turns, axe hanging from one hand, unfastened top buttons exposing ginger curls and freckled skin slightly pink from the sun, one of his eyebrows arched.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I was looking for Commander Shepard, but I seem to have found a handsome lumberjack instead. Tell me, rugged mountain man, can you direct me back to the Shepard-Alenko residence?"

Shepard snorts, and shakes his head, slinging the axe over his shoulder. "Afraid I can't, kind stranger, but if you head that way, there's a town, someone there might've heard of it."

Kaidan chuckles dryly.

Trip lifts her head from where she's resting on her outdoor dog bed near the trailer, and then rushes over, tail wagging, nose burying itself into Kaidan's waiting hands. "Yes, I missed you too," he says warmly, ruffling behind her ears.

Shepard props the axe against the chopping block and slides his arms around Kaidan's waist from behind as he stands up again, burying his nose in Kaidan's shoulder. "I missed you this morning. Now who's leaving who before they wake up?"

"Realised we didn't have any eggs," Kaidan mutters. "Didn't want you to wake up without your favourite breakfast."

"I don't care about that, I'd rather wake up with my favourite person," Shepard murmurs into Kaidan's neck as he places a kiss there. "Except now you mention it, I am starving. Funny how that works."

"Isn't it just?" Kaidan smiles as he turns in Shepard's arms, and kisses him. "Good morning. Happy birthday."

Shepard blinks. "Oh, shit. Is it April already?" He frowns. "Are you screwing with me, Alenko?"

Kaidan snorts softly and shakes his head. "It's been April for a whole eleven days."

"Weirdly warm for April," Shepard mutters, squinting up at the distant treetops.

"Yeah, a little." Kaidan nods towards the car. "Let me go grab the food."

"Alright. I'll go get the stove on." Shepard kisses him on the cheek, and then slaps him on the ass as he walks away.

Kaidan shakes his head as he ducks into the sky car to grab the hemp shopping bag, and the box of beer, and Shepard has two pans out on the gas camp stoves by the time he heads back to the trailer.

"What's wrong with the trailer stove?" Kaidan asks as he sets the bag and the beer down at Shepard's feet.

"Felt like cooking in the great outdoors," Shepard mutters as he sits on his little stove-side stool and adjusts the flames.

"Fair enough." Kaidan drags over another stool and sits down beside him.

Shepard rummages in the bag, setting out items on the low table near the cooker. "Oh, bacon, good choice. Wait, wait, wait, and steak? What's the special occasion?" He grins.

Kaidan rolls his eyes. "Happy birthday, Shepard."

Shepard leans over and pecks him on the lips. "I knew there's a reason I'd enjoy today."

Shepard lays strips of bacon in one hot pan, and sets the steak on to sear in the other, rubbed with a little salt, pepper and oil. He heads into the trailer to wash his hands and grab a pack of tortillas, but then Kaidan can hear him rattling through his extensive collection of hot sauces, and subsequently knocking them all over and scattering small bottles across the floor, followed by a mutter of, "Ah, there you are."

Kaidan keeps an eye on the bacon and flips the steak before Shepard returns, opening a couple of beers in preparation.

Soon they are both lounging in the two fold-out chairs Shepard picked up at a garage sale, lime and meat juices dripping down their fingers, losing toppings to their plates, and occasionally their clothes. A slice of avocado catches in the wrinkles of Shepard's shirt where it lays open against his chest, and he picks it up with slippery fingers before it can slide down his stomach.

As they finish up, Kaidan can't help watching Shepard pick the last of his meal from the plate, a sliver of beef, a shard of onion, swiping a fingertip through a terracotta droplet of hot pepper sauce.

Shepard's eyebrows rise as he glances at Kaidan. "Enjoying the show?"

"Always." Kaidan's smile widens. "I don't know, this is just the happiest I've ever seen you. It's... nice."

Shepard's expression darkens and he shrugs, setting his plate on the ground and slipping his very last morsel of steak to Trip at his side. "It's nice out here. Rugged. I don't have to see Reapers descending on everything whenever I blink."

"I'm sorry you're so unhappy in Vancouver," Kaidan says. "I never meant for that."

Shepard glances at him as he scratches his chin, and he snorts in disgust, stretching out his bad leg as he gazes off down the slope towards the sea. "I'm sorry, I wish things were different. I'd suggest you stay in Vancouver when I come up here, but I don't think either of us would sleep very well." He sighs through gritted teeth. "You shouldn't have to leave your home because of me."

"Shepard," Kaidan says, reaching over and taking his hand, calloused and rough from work. "Home is you, wherever you are, I only ever grow homesick for you."

Shepard's face softens, and he smiles warmly and genuinely, bringing Kaidan's hand to his lips to kiss it. "You're too good to me." His thumb rubs across Kaidan's knuckles as he lowers it again. "You and me, huh? Old soldiers."

Kaidan tugs him closer and kisses him, but another wild strand of hair falls out of his bun and interrupts, and Shepard offers him a brief, sheepish smile. He yanks out the tie he's been using, a ratty thing he bought when it started getting long enough to be a nuisance, and reties it up twice as haphazardly.

"Still getting used to this mane, huh?" Kaidan asks as he tames a loose curl and tucks it behind Shepard's ear. "My Lionheart."

"I haven't had hair this long since I was about fourteen," Shepard chuckles. "I don't know, it's nice to be someone else for a while. No one recognises me like this. No one knows what I've done."

"You deserve all the time in the world to be a regular person," Kaidan says, and his grip tightens on Shepard's hand. "I'm just glad some part of my homeland can give you some peace."

"It's got waves, it's got wilderness, it's got woods, what's not to like?" Shepard says with a grin as he gestures about their makeshift homestead.

"And it's got you," Kaidan says. "That's all that matters to me."

Shepard rolls his eyes, and leans over to grab Kaidan's chin so he can kiss him. "You can be unbearable sometimes, do you know that?"

"I know that." Kaidan grins.

Trip barks, and tears off across the grass towards a bird that's landed to pick at the ground, and Shepard watches, gently swinging their hands where they hang between the chairs.

After a few more minutes of sitting there together, occasionally throwing a ball for the hyperactive dog who'll otherwise make them dizzy running around in circles, Kaidan volunteers to wash the dishes. Shepard stows the camp stoves inside in case of rain, but leaves the tables and stools in case they dine out later.

"So what would you like to do today, birthday boy?" Kaidan asks as he dries his hands on a dish rag.

Shepard pries apart the blinds on the small window overlooking the dining booth and gazes out at the woods. "Care for a walk?"

Kaidan shrugs. "Sounds nice."

Shepard buttons his shirt to his neck and turns his collar up, and sits on the steps into the trailer to tie his boots properly, having just shoved the laces under the tongue for his morning activities.

"Hey, girl," he greets Trip as she comes over wagging her tail and nudging his hands with her wet nose. "Want to go for a walk, huh? Want to go for a walk? We'll find you a nice big stick to throw."

At the perky tone of his voice, she barks and wags her tail harder, turning twice in a circle and then running off towards the trees where a path begins. Shepard stands, and extends a hand to Kaidan on the top step, and the two of them begin their walk hand-in-hand.

Kaidan finds the perfect stick for Trip and flings it off into the distance up the trail, which she happily follows. Within ten minutes, they pass by the back of one of the neighbouring properties, and Shepard takes a moment to make mental notes about their wildlife proofing.

"What are you planning to do with the yard, exactly?" Kaidan asks as they keep walking.

"I'm not sure yet, but I'm going to plant vegetables, and I'll have to take some serious time animal-proofing it." Shepard nods. "Violet, the woman I chat to at the grocery store sometimes, says she still has trouble with bears, despite six foot of fencing, stainless steel mesh and chicken wire. I think the biggest problem will be letting the garden still feel wild whilst protecting whatever I grow."

Kaidan watches Shepard enjoying the woods as he talks, his eyes sweeping the area just to enjoy the sight of fresh leaves rustling in the breeze and sunshine falling through the canopy, without the keen, narrowed gaze that searches for danger, without the tense cord throbbing in his neck. Just appreciating. Some of the trees are still skeletal and hardened against winter, but most of them have begun the bountiful explosion of spring.

The two of them keep a leisurely pace as they loop around into one of the quiet suburban neighbourhoods on the outskirts of town, and then back into the woods. Shepard begins to limp as they leave the sidewalk behind, and Kaidan's brows furrow.

"You going to be okay until we get back?" He asks, slowing to a stop and lifting a hand to stroke Shepard's cheek, meeting his eyes.

"Of course." Shepard nods, his hand curling around Kaidan's wrist. Behind him, he can hear Trip sniffing along the back edge of the last house's property.

The pad of Kaidan's thumb strokes along his cheekbone. "I would hate to end your birthday with you in pain."

"End?" Shepard's eyebrows rise, and a lazy smile tugs at his lips. "It's barely begun. I was expecting a lot more out of you, Alenko."

"Oh?" Kaidan arches an eyebrow suggestively. "Whatever could you mean?"

Leaning in, Shepard kisses him slowly, patiently. Kaidan slides his hand back to tangle in the thick waves of Shepard's hair, and tilts his head to deepen the kiss. Shepard's arm slides firmly around his waist, heat rising between them, and his fingers slide around the back of Kaidan's neck, a low growl rumbling in the back of his throat. The sound shoots straight to Kaidan's groin, and he moans in reciprocation.

Shepard shoves him back against a thick tree, and presses his hips into him; Kaidan can already feel his half-hardness through his jeans. He's breathing raggedly, and their breaths escalate into a crescendo between them, snatched and gasped between kisses and bites and tongues getting caught in each other's mouths.

Kaidan's hand slides down between them and grabs the hard ridge in Shepard's pants, rubbing it through the fabric and delighting in the subtle shiver that shoots through his man. His teeth clamp down on Shepard's earlobe as he gropes and squeezes and Shepard takes a sharp breath, thrusting into Kaidan's grasp.

Bunching his fingers into the back of Kaidan's shirt, he pushes it up and slips underneath, curling into the muscular flesh of his back. Kaidan gives him some resistance to play with, and whimpers when Shepard thrusts him back against the tree trunk, grinding his hips long and slow against him. He's straining against his pants, and Shepard is rutting into him, but it's not enough.

Kaidan shoves his hand into Shepard's boxers and tugs the length of him, eliciting another groan from the back of Shepard's throat. Unfastening his fly, he feels Shepard do the same, and bucks his hips into him, now separated by only a thin, sweaty film of fabric. Their kisses reignite, harder and hotter, as their hands scrabble and tangle with one another.

The two of them find a rhythm, sliding and thrusting against each other in the woods, underwear riding low on his hips, catching on his pubic hair, but neither of them can pull away, neither of them can take their hands off each other. Kaidan's teeth seize the corner of Shepard's lower lip, and Shepard grunts, thrusting one last time against Kaidan and bowing his head against him as he comes in two sharp jolts.

Kaidan's lips touch on Shepard's ear, his jaw, the side of his nose, as he feels Shepard's fingers around him, and he falls over the edge with him.

They take a moment, one of Kaidan's hands still caught in Shepard's hair, which he has difficulty extricating without pulling too hard. Shepard winces, and then smiles and gives him a softer, sweeter kiss. Kaidan melts into him, arms sliding around his back, their hearts beating heavy against one another.

When they part, Shepard's still smiling, and they take a moment to straighten out their clothes and zip up their flies, squirming at the sticky discomfort in their underwear. Kaidan takes Shepard's hand as he finally lets him draw away from the tree, and they walk back home slowly, going easy on Shepard's leg.

Trip is as worn out by their walk as they are once they climb into the trailer and close the door behind them, and traipses off to her bed. He hears Shepard turn on the shower as he's still taking off his boots, and lingers in the bathroom doorway to watch Shepard slide his shirt off his shoulders and his pants down over his ass.

"Enjoying the view?" He asks as he straightens, but there's the flicker of tension around his eyes as he climbs into the shower stall.

"Always," Kaidan replies. He slips out of his clothes and joins Shepard in the steamy stall, sliding the door shut behind him. The space is tight, but there's enough room for the two of them to wash each other, sharing the occasional murmur or kiss, and Kaidan massages Shepard's skull as he rubs shampoo deep into his roots.

The moan Shepard makes reverberates off the tiles; it's almost enough to get Kaidan hard again. He washes the suds out carefully, striving to keep them out of Shepard's eyes, and then quietly gives him a hand climbing out.

"What would you like to do now?" Kaidan asks as they're drying off. "The day is yours."

Shepard stretches his arms out and yawns. "I was thinking a nap sounds pretty damn good."

"I like the sound of that," Kaidan says, catching the yawn himself as he watches Shepard bending over to scrunch the towel through his hair, exposing the scattering of freckles and scars on his back that Kaidan loves. "Care for some company?"

Shepard straightens slowly, towel flopping over his face, and shoves it out of his eyes as he turns to smile at him. "Is that even a question, Kaidan?"

"I suppose not." Kaidan shrugs and follows Shepard into the bedroom.

As Kaidan slips on some boxers, Shepard makes a cursory effort to blow dry his mane until it's barely damp, before giving up with slumped, exhausted shoulders and tossing the dryer aside. Kaidan watches him slide between the sheets before crawling in himself and resting his head beside him.

"I love you, Kaidan," Shepard murmurs into the olive skin of Kaidan's shoulder.

"I love you, too, Shepard."

Like most nights—and days, apparently—Kaidan has to resist playing with Shepard's hair, and fails, finding himself twirling fire-coloured strands between his fingers as they lay together, eventually drifting off to sleep.

-

The sun is setting when Shepard lurches up a few hours later and groans as pain sparks in his hip, shooting down every nerve ending in his back and troublesome leg. "Fuck."

Kaidan lifts his head sleepily from the pillow and pries his eyes open. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just my damn leg." Shepard shakes his head and yanks open his bedside drawer, growling under his breath as he rummages through the items, flinging condoms and blister packs and pens across the room. Trip whines from her bed in the corner, her head up and ears straining.

Finally, Shepard finds his prescription painkillers and tosses back two pills with the bottle of water at his bedside. He gingerly lowers himself back into bed and stares at the ceiling.

Kaidan watches him from the other pillow, noticing he's grinding his teeth together and his nostrils are flared. He scoots closer and slides his hand down the inside of Shepard's arm, taking his hand in both of his own.

After a few moments, Shepard's tension eases, and he turns his head towards Kaidan with the hollow, defeated bleakness in his eyes that Kaidan hoped never to see again. He kisses him fiercely, and then snakes an arm around him and pulls him close, resting Shepard's head in the crook of his neck. "I went out to the hazel wood, because a fire was in my head, and cut and peeled a hazel wand, and hooked a berry to a thread."

Nose buried in Shepard's hair, breathing the scent of him and the wild, he breathes softly. "And when white moths were on the wing, and moth-like stars were flickering out, I dropped the berry in a stream, and caught a little silver trout."

"When I had laid it on the floor, I went to blow the fire a-flame, but something rustled on the floor, and someone called me by my name." Underneath his hands, Kaidan feels Shepard take a deeper breath, and release the tension holding his limbs rigid. "It had become a glimmering girl, with apple blossom in her hair, who called me by my name and ran, and faded through the brightening air."

"Though I am old with wandering, through hollow lands and hilly lands, I will find out where she has gone, and kiss her lips and take her hands." He swallows, placing a kiss behind Shepard's ear. "And walk among long dappled grass, and pluck till time and times are done." His voice dips to the very lowest whisper. "The silver apples of the moon, the golden apples of the sun."

Shepard bunches a hand into the blankets around Kaidan's waist and takes several deep breaths, mumbling into his throat, "Thank you, Kaidan."

"Always."

The two of them lay curled up like this for half an hour as the mild opiate painkillers sends Shepard's mind off somewhere pleasant, dozing in and out of sleep, until he hears tiny paws pad across the foot of the bed and down the hallway, whining to be let outside.

Kaidan sighs. "I'm coming, girl."

Shepard groans as he loosens his grip enough for Kaidan to slip out of bed and down the hallway, where he opens the door enough for the dog to hop outside and skitter off across the grass down the side of the cabin foundations.

Leaving the door ajar, he traipses back to the bedroom scratching the back of his head, and yawns as he plonks back down on the edge of the mattress.

Shepard's hand finds his own first, and they share a quiet smile.

"Do you think you'd be up for watching the sun set over the sea with me?" Kaidan asks after a moment, shivering as a cold breeze rushes in from the open front door and shakes him further from sleep.

"Sounds perfect." Shepard nods. "Let me test the old leg out first." He sits up with a yawn and a stretch, his elbows popping, and then swings his legs off the bed and stands, bracing himself against the wall.

Shepard takes a couple of steps along the floor, and back again, and then nods. "Seems like it'll take it without crippling me." He meets Kaidan's eyes. "Let's go."

Kaidan shrugs on his hoodie, and watches Shepard do the same, both of them fumbling into pyjama pants and pushing feet into their casual shoes. They amble out into the amber dusk, but Shepard hesitates, and then reluctantly takes his cane from where it rests by the door, leaning on it generously as he makes his way down the steps.

They walk the couple hundred yards to the shore in silence, and slow to a stop on the gravelly beach while the sun touches the horizon, setting fire to the sky, and the moon hangs higher up, patient and pale. Kaidan turns to Shepard, and Shepard turns, too, when he senses the gaze on him.

"Happy Birthday, JG," Kaidan says.

"Thanks, Kaidan." The orange blaze of sunset reflects in his eyes like the fire inside him. "It's been a good day. A very good day." Trip scampers up to them and nudges her head into Shepard's free hand, so Shepard bends down to ruffle behind her ears, never missing a chance to indulge her.

Kaidan's hand closes around the box in his pocket. He kneels down on one knee, and Trip takes that as an invitation to turn her attentions on him, licking at his hands and face. Patting her side, he tells her softly, "Sit." He tenderly strokes her head when she obeys. "Good girl. Stay."

Returning his gaze to Shepard, he takes his hand, galaxies shining in his eyes. "John Gabriel Shepard," he begins. "The most remarkable man in the universe. Will you do me the honour of being my husband?"

As Kaidan opens the small velvet box and the gold band catches the gold light, Shepard blinks, and then smiles in the gentlest way Kaidan has ever seen. "Always."

Kaidan slips the ring onto Shepard's finger, and stands as Shepard catches him around the waist and sweeps him in for a kiss. Trip lets out a happy bark, her tail wagging against the dirt.

"I'm a lucky man, Kaidan," Shepard whispers as they part, and settles his forehead against Kaidan's. "Never forget that I am the luckiest man alive."

**Author's Note:**

> With additional thanks to W.B. Yeats.


End file.
